Thoughts from an ICU Room
It has been a strange season in my life. We welcomed our son Ranger to the world on March 11th and found out a few weeks later that my dad has esophageal cancer. Im definitely finding some of the verses in Ecclesiastes resonating in ways that I haven’t experienced before.
““For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up;a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away;a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.”(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV)”
This season, like no other in my life, has been difficult to juggle all the things that demand my attention. It has been hard to balance being a husband, father, son, employee, and friend.I have always had my parents mortality stored on a high shelf, something that I will have to deal with at a future date. As I sit in the ICU with my dad I havebeen forced to pull it off the high shelf and place it in the foreground of my life. It is hard. It is taxing. It is by far the most difficult thing I have yet to experience. It makes me feel like my other roles have shifted to the background and it weighs on me with an awkward, heavy, and sometimes disturbing weight. I am so thankful that I have a tremendously strong and amazing wife that is home with our kids leading the home and filling in those gaps. I am also thankful for an amazing church family that has relentlessly been praying for my dad and for our family. It is so encouraging to get texts and messages throughout the day reminding me of some of God’s promises and reminders that there are hundreds of people praying for him. Im not exactly sure what I am writing this for, I guess I wanted to document this so I can revisit it later in life or that it can be an encouragement to someone to be faithful in whatever season they are in. As difficult as this uncertain season is, I am confident that God is using this and hopefully drawing my dad closer to Him. Pray for my dad Ken, for his healing, his salvation, and for our family.